Funny Rant

I stole this from mcsweney.net but it was funny.

I swear to fucking God, if I come home this Christmas and find out my parents are still unplugging their computer from the wall when they want to turn it off, I will fucking snap.


Seriously, how fucking hard can it be?

Click START, then click SHUT DOWN.

That's a TWO-step process that for the past 10 years in a row I've had to sit down with you assholes and explain, re-explain, re-explain, re-explain, re-explain, re-explain, re-explain, re-explain and re-explain START, then SHUT DOWN! START, THEN SHUT DOWN!!!

What, in the precise two-step process—that I've written down and given to you on numerous occasions—do you not get?

"But Jason," Dad will say, "it's confusing that I have to click START in order to shut something down. That just seems counter intuitive."

Oh is it, Alan? Is it counter intuitive? Would it help if, instead of a START icon, Microsoft created an icon that looked like a 63-year-old retired accountant with back problems bending over to unplug his computer from the wall? Would that kind of visual be less "counter intuitive"? Apparently it would because every FUCKING year I come home and find that you've been resorting to exactly that kind barbarism.
But it ends here! DO YOU HEAR ME, ALAN? It ends here!

You and Mom had better brace for the possibility that one of you is going to walk into the family room someday and find the other electrocuted, lying in pile of their own shit next to the computer, because that's what's in your future if you keep unplugging it from the wall rather than following my VERY simple instructions!

And GODDAMMIT, STOP PRINTING OUT HARD COPIES OF ALL YOUR EMAILS!

My face

I am growing a beard. Reviews have been mixed from GRRRRRR to AHHHHHHHH.

I don't know why I am doing it, but I am at day 15 with shaving the main part. I do some trimmage to give the illusion of some sort of order, but it is really just going on it's own. People have said I look older. So since I am 27 I must look about 29.

I am aiming for a Joaquin Phoenix thing.

Need to workout more.

The holiday are here

On a previous blog years ago. I had mentioned the fact that Starbucks releases those damn Christmas cups so early. I think I am beginning to get over that. I like them. They remind me of a happier time. I am a pretty humbled person. I feel that I have been very fortunate growing up. So Christmases around the home as a child really were a time of joy. My parents definitely did a great job of keeping the spirit alive. They did a good job of showing me the importance of helping the less fortunate. I remember one Xmas we gave out sack lunches to the homeless that we had made. That had a very strong influence on me even to this day.

Moving on. You know what bothers me? When people have a heavy step. There is a person here who walks hard. It shakes my computer and desk and chair and inner being. Damn that bugs me.

If you have not seen 127 Hours you must. I keep  seeing more and more commercials and I really want to go see it. I probably will during the TG weekend. Although I will want to avoid the malls like the plague that weekend, so it will have to be a standalone theater.

I am going to go off roading this weekend. Look for a picture sum up of that excursion in the coming weeks. I know you can't stand the excitement.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, next week is the week. Turkey, football and family and turkey. In that order. My mom can really sling a turkey. She makes the best gravy literally in the world. There is nothing like it. I would be as happy as a pig in shit with white turkey meat, gravy, white rice and black beans. Pretty much my TG night.

Ok that is all. Do something for the needy. Not everyone has a good Thanksgiving.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Disneyland has started to put up their X-mas decor, Starbucks has been using their holiday cups for a week and my sister already sent me her X-mas list. Nothing like a Christmas list on Nov 1 to get you into the holiday mode. I don't even know where I will be this Christmas. I think it's my turn for a local Christmas. Seems so far away, but only 47 shopping days left. I usually do pretty well Christmas shopping thanks to Amazon. Gotta love their wish lists and ease of shipping. If you would like to spring for a Christmas gift for me, loyal reader, then here is a link to what I currently have an eye on.

Last week a Portos Bakery finally opened up in Downey, CA. I say finally because it was something like 14 months behind schedule. It opened only 3 miles from where my parents live. I can foresee many side trips on visits to my parents house.

Speaking of Call of Duty: Black Ops that comes out tomorrow. There is a great commercial with Jimmy Kimmel and the Black Mamba himself, Kobe Bryant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jM3gSOHRdM

It's a really funny commercial. Some people have been giving it flack because it adds a lightheartedness to war, but seriously, I play the game for fun. I really don't understand people sometimes. I mean the game is rated M it's not for kids it's for people who can separate reality from fiction. Tomorrow I will be blowin some shit up with my friends for as long as I can keep my eyes open. I am coming for you Trevy, I will stab you in the back and not give a shit about it, then Tea-Bag your corpse.

No fancy schmancy headsets will save you from the Xterror

Lakers, Racing & Bumper

What a long time it has been since dropping some knowledge on all my readers. So my childlike attention span has been focused on three things today, in no particular order. The Lakers, RC racing and a new rear bumper for my real car.

First off I am trying my hand at racing a RC car tomorrow. I have been to the track exactly twice and have gotten good at crashing so might as well give it a shot. I have a knack for the trash talking and getting in people's heads so I think I got the mental game down. Everyone knows is 60% mental 50% skill and 25% tires. So I should have a 10% advantage. They have done studies 60% of the time it works every time. Look forward to the race recap next week loyal readers.



Finally after months of waiting, literally since July, my new rear bumper comes in. Could not be coming at a better time either. I was recently rear ended in the G-Ride not to worry, everyone is ok. So I have been doing some modifications to the truck which you can see on my Xterra Build Page. I will be adding a rear bumper into the equation. I sometimes get the question "Scott, why are you adding an aftermarket rear bumper?" I usually reply with the simple retort "Because it's fucking awesome!!" Look at the picture below, wouldn't you agree? Sexy beast isn't it.

 

Last and certainly not least. The Lakers, wow have they been on a tear. This is shaping up to be a very good season. It looks like they are having so much fun out there on the court. Sometimes when I play basketball I imagine myself as Derrek Fisher and moving the ball, showing my skills raining buckets on the defender. Then I realize I have none of those talents and get a team member a glass of water. 

Dos pro uno

It seems I am not the only one who doesn't get lost. This is an excerpt from an online chat with AT&T wireless about an issue I am having.

Brittany : I do sincerely apologize, but I am going to need to connect you with our Data Chat. They specialize in email issues, and have more access to see where the issue is going on. They will be able to see our chat to see what we have already covered. Do you have any other concerns for me this evening, before I transfer you into that chat?

Scott : That is ok Brittany. I am going to have to just give up.

Scott : I will give it a couple days, and try again.

Scott : I am also giong to plug it into iTunes and make sure everything is ok on that end.

Brittany : That will be fine. I do apologize that I was not able to resolve your issue this evening. If you would like to chat back in, our hours are 8:00 AM to 11:00 PM Eastern Time Monday through Friday and Saturdays 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM Eastern Time. We are closed on Sundays. We will be able to connect you with our Data Chat at that time.

Scott : Ok.

Scott : you have been very helpful

Scott : tried as best as we could

Brittany : Well, thank you. Again, I do apologize, Mr. Menendez. Do you have any additional questions for me this evening?

Scott : Umm.

Scott : Can you explain the final season of Lost to me.

Scott : I just don't get it.

Brittany : I do apologize, but I do not get to watch late night shows. Although, I have American Idol on DVR.

Scott : I am just coming up empty on all fronts today.

Sometimes things go well.

This week started off kinda shitty for me, but then I just started getting up earlier and turning on my iPod to random songs and had little dance parties in the bedroom while getting ready for work. This then transferred to my drive into work playing some random CD at high volume and singing all the dirty parts of the Ice Cube song. Good times. I felt like the beginning of Office Space.

So what did I bring this up, well, basically this season of LOST sucks.

Shitfaced Pretty Woman

Normally I don't like getting baited into listening to stories or even caring about them. For example, I hate the baited Facebook posts. Brian is thinking about his important decision. Dave is sad. Stacey hasn't had her period for 5 months and is growing a giant belly. I really don't care. Also don't get me started on the over hyped posts either, "It's raining diamonds and I just shit a gold necklace". That being said, today I was sitting there minding my own business when Mark IM'd me. BTW Mark has a band, they are playing this weekend you should check out the show. So Mark sent me a message.
so i got shitfaced with Julia Roberts last night.

So many things raced through my head. Was he playing a drinking game, shots every time you see the head vein in her movies? Was it literal, out somewhere drinking toe to toe with the real Pretty Woman? Sitting across a table like Marion in the original Indiana Jones? You know I had to bite on that one. The story was good, but I think my version of the Indy drinking scene would have been a little better. So I know appreciate the baited statements. I still am not going to give a shit and may fake some bit of interest, but what I will do is make up the most elaborate story and entertain myself with it.

And by the way, Mark might not make the performance on Saturday night, turns out he is on a private jet to Napal looking for some headpiece with his new partner Julia.